My Denial…My Blessing

This morning (Wednesday November 5^th 2014), the Holy Spirit had me repeat to myself this statement “God is going to blow your mind.” As I tossed and turned half asleep in my bed, I kept repeating the phrase over and over again.

Lets back track to some background information. This academic year, I was barely given any financial aid because according to the receptionist at the financial aid office, I’ve reached the limit I could be offered for student loans. So I haven’t been able to pay my tuition for this Fall semester. This has been my battle with the Lord way before the semester even began. Bottom line is “Jennifer, do you trust me enough to know I’m bigger than all your problems?” says God. Prior to this, I had had a dream in which God basically showed me that my trust in Him was not total. So I said ok God I want to trust you completely so help me do so. Haha! I pictured him with a sinister side lip grin on His faces saying “okay, if you say so” lol. So I began this journey of radical faith in Christ. At the same time, my academic advisors were and are still being jerks to me about helping me graduate in May 2015. School was sucking for me this semester. Satan was hitting me real hard with doubt and fear and thoughts of failure and all sorts of stuff. So I found myself in a fetal position before the Lord all the time crying and telling Him, Lord I trust you despite the look of things. I trust you. I trust you. I trust you. So during my worship session on the day that I wrote the blog post titled “Everything Else Can Wait” I said Lord, I give this situation over to you and until you tell me what to do, I won’t make any move. I will wait on you. A couple days later, I got antsy and began to think about applying to Sallie Mae and even private loans (the devil is a LIAR!) lol. But I felt deep within my spirit that God didn’t want me to do that so I stopped that whole process and kept praying and trusting and reading and waiting and guarding my heart from Satan.

[Fast forward to Wednesday, November 5^th 2014]

Earlier on during the week, God had laid on my heart to go speak to my financial aid advisor. So I just walked in this morning and the receptionist asked for my information and asked why I wanted to see the advisor. She pulled up my account and then proceeded to tell me why I wasn’t able to get more financial aid and that she recommends I take out private loans, blah blah blah. A year ago, I would have been satisfied with that info and just walk away. But I felt deep within my spirit to politely say thank you BUT I still need to see my advisor. She was able to get me an appointment with the advisor immediately. Now my balance left to pay for this semester was $3095 (including late payment fee) which would also be the same amount I would owe next semester. This balance placed a hold on my account meaning until I paid that money off, I could not register for classes, I could not request an official transcript, and certainly could not apply to graduate. Every important privilege was withheld from me due to this balance. Within 2 minutes of sitting with my advisor, he was able to reduce my balance to $1575. Bless God! And then he told me the next step was to let my mother apply for the Parent PLUS Loan which will have two outcomes:

One: Get approved and pay for the $1575 with that loan which my mother had to pay back. [This same amount will also be paid for the spring semester and summer school will have to be paid out of pocket]

Two: Get denied and then get more financial aid meaning….DENIAL IS GOOD, WHAT?!?!? [PRAISE BREAK FOR DAYS] So my mum went ahead and applied for it. Lo and behold, she got denied. I have never been so excited about a denial before lol. I sent an email to the advisor and told him my mom got denied and as he told me, it would take a day or two before he can see it in the system. He emailed me back immediately and in his own exact words he said, “I actually see that the plus denial is already up online (this is a first, I have never seen it processed this quickly)”  God is too faithful. My mind is absolutely blown away! So now here’s what happens; I get additional financial aid for EACH SEMESTER! Enough to get refund checks with which I can save to pay for summer school! And will have some extra left from both semesters so hello summer shopping lol jk jk! Oh and even more interesting, the next day Thursday November 6^th, registration for classes opens for the next semester. Talk about God’s timing!

My testimony is not in the fact that my account got paid in excess but rather lies in me passing my test of faith. I am glad to say, I passed the test!! Hurray! Le struggle was real folks. So now I’m at a point where I’m going with Gods flow. I’m trusting Him to fix my school schedules. When He tells me to move, then I move. I don’t do anything without seeking his direction. Choosing classes, planning my schedule, when I will graduate, its all in His hands for I know He has not brought me this far just to leave me. So the journey continues. My encouragement to you all is to keep the faith. It is hard as heck – I’m not gonna lie to y’all – but there’s a reward after you pass. “Without faith, it is IMPOSSIBLE to please God…” [Hebrews 6:11] Stay tuned for Part II. Be blessed and encouraged folks and remember, the devil is a deceitful conniving LIAR!! Guard your heart against him.

XOXO,
Jennifer Darlington

Miscellaneous 

* I own an accessories shop online. Visit and shop.

www.etsy.com/shop/JDarlingCreations

*I will be at University of Virginia (UVA) on Saturday November 15th 2014 as a designer in their annual Fashion for a cause Fashion Show which starts at 7pm at the Main Street Arena. 

*I will be a designer for GMU Red Alert: HIV/AIDS Awareness Fashion Show on Friday, November 21st 2014. I will be vending from 6:30pm till 8pm when the show starts. I will be offering discounts based on HIV/AIDS trivia so come filled up with knowledge about the disease.

*I will be at UMCP Annual Fall Ball on Saturday, November 22nd 2014 as a designer in their infused fashion show. It starts at 7pm.

IG: @jdarlingcreations

Faceboook: www.facebook.com/JDarlingCreations

* My personal IG & Twitter: @jay_lington